Dark Shadows
by Starrmyst
Summary: Post Lauren. JJ/Rossi. The team returns from Boston and they all have a hard time dealing with Emily being gone. JJ worries about all of them but she is especially worried about one particular team member.
1. The Team Returns

Assigned Pair: JJ/Rossi

Prompt: Dark Shadows

It was very early in the morning, when the team walked through the doors at the BAU. They had come straight from the airstrip to FBI headquarters and they carried with them the weight of the world. Normally the group, though tired, would be chatting about their plans for the weekend. However, today, the group was unnaturally quiet and shell shocked as they stumbled into the office like they were in another world. Each one of the team purposely avoided glancing at her desk as though that would change what had happened.

JJ was the first to look at Emily's desk. It brought tears to her eyes and for the first time she was grateful that she no longer worked at the BAU. After she finished all the paperwork today, JJ would walk out of the building and she wouldn't have to see the empty desk or see who would be hired as her replacement. She'd be going back to the Pentagon on Monday. For the rest of today, though, JJ would feel so empty about the loss of such a vibrant member of the team. Was this how the team felt when JJ left? Did they feel as though a part of their body was missing? Because for her, JJ felt that a piece of her heart was gone.

Looking around the BAU, it had never felt so solemn. For JJ, it certainly felt strange and yet still comfortable being in the BAU again. She had settled into her new office however she missed being at the BAU which, for her, would always seem like home. Looking at the faces of her broken friends, JJ quickly fell back into the role of mother hen needing to make sure that everyone was okay.

JJ quietly encouraged everyone to go home. Ashley left almost immediately. She didn't feel right being there witnessing their grief. She quickly said her goodbyes and left squeezing Dave's hand before she walked out the door. The rest of the team lingered around the floor. They had filled out some of the paperwork on the plane and the rest could be done at a later time. Even Section Chief Strauss had ordered the team to be on stand down for at least two weeks. They needed the time to deal with their loss.

JJ mentioned it again that it might be a good idea to go home. While everyone nodded in agreement, no one seemed to move away from the group. JJ looked to Hotch for support.

In typical Hotch fashion, he showed no outward emotion on his face, although those who knew the real Hotch knew that he too was at his breaking point. "I know that we had all prayed that this would have ended differently but we have to remember that Emily did this because she was trying to protect all of us. She did it because she loved us and that is what we all have to hold on to. We need to remember her the way she was before today. It's what Emily would have wanted." No one spoke when Hotch finished. They all knew he was right but the pain was still raw. Hotch tried to assure the team that while the pain they felt seemed to be unbearable at that moment, they would get through it together just as they had before.

Morgan put his arm around Garcia as she broke the silence with a stifled sob. "Morgan, take her home. JJ is right, everybody. Go home and get some rest. I don't want anyone in the office until Monday. JJ will let us know what the arrangements are once she speaks to the ambassador. And guys...I am proud of all of you. You did everything you could to bring Doyle down and find Emily. I know that none of us will stop until we make him pay for taking her away from us. For tonight, though, let's try to remember the good times we had with our friend. Go home everybody; that's an order."

Guiding Garcia towards her office, Morgan watched as Reid stood staring at the picture of the team on his desk. "Come on Pretty Boy, you're coming home with us." Morgan said over his shoulders to Reid. He didn't argue. He followed behind them like a lost puppy.

Hotch had already headed towards his office to drop off the paperwork. Normally he would stay behind and finish up the reports but JJ knew that all he wanted to do was go home, pick up his son and hold him. He needed the reminder that life was precious and everyday with his child was a gift.

That left David Rossi and she was the most worried about him. She turned her eyes towards the stairs where he was slowly ascending to his office. After JJ had delivered the news about Emily at the hospital, she saw the anguish that washed over his face. The single tear that flowed down his cheek was the extent of the grief he showed before he put his wall up again.

He didn't notice that she had been keeping a special eye on him since they left Boston but he never once let his emotions take over again. She knew that the emotions she saw at the hospital were going to be the only ones he would show the outside world. His years at the BAU had taught him how to hide his true feelings. Somehow, JJ had to figure out a way that she could change that for both Aaron and Dave.

Today, however, she realized that Dave was the one who needed her the most. She could almost see the heaviness of his heart weighing on his shoulders as he shuffled up the stairs towards his office, his head hanging low. Just before he shut the door, she called out to him, the dark shadows evident on his face. He looked up at her sadly and waved her away. Then he shut himself in his office and JJ knew he didn't want anyone to see just how broken SSA David Rossi really was.


	2. Dave

The door was closed and the blinds were pulled shut. He was thankful that no one could see into the office as he reached down to the lower drawer and moved aside some files. There, behind, he found what he was looking for. Filling up the glass to the brim, he brought it to his lips. Coughing slightly, he swallowed the burning liquid in one quick gulp, silently praying that the liquid would magically disintegrate the bile that was at the top of his throat.

In his line of work most days were hard. The images of the children, the bodies, all the broken families seemed to blur for him. Even for an old bastard like himself, he had such strong feelings and emotions about the cases and the people. He was just good at burying them; usually in a bottle of 20 year old scotch. Unfortunately today it wasn't working. Nothing was going to help him forget what happened.

Resting his head against the leather seat, he suddenly felt the 39 hours he had been awake take hold of him. He closed his eyes and wondered what made him come back to the BAU. Certainly some days were good ones. The ones where the USUB was found and the victims returned to their families but days like today were unfortunately the norm.

It had started out just like any other case; unexplained homicides, an USUB on the run and the team pulling together to solve the case. Only this time the team didn't all pull together. This time someone forgot to trust their team and instead pulled away from them. Because of that and because of all the secrets, it had all gone horribly wrong.

As profilers, they could see that something was wrong with her, but they had a pact to respect each other's space. They knew...well at least they believed...that if help was needed it would be requested. Banging his fist on the top of the desk, he grunted "Why hadn't she asked for help!" Perhaps they could have saved her! He should have figured it out before it was too late. He should have saved her! In his mind he could still see her on the ground with the stick protruding from her body, begging Morgan to let her go.

Covering his eyes with both his hands, he rubbed them with the heel of his palms as though it could erase the image from his mind. He knew, though, that it was going to be impossible for him to forget what happened...to forget her. His mind began to wander to that first day they had met.

He spotted her immediately when he entered the pen. She was seated at her desk in a dark brown dress that sculpted her perfect body. He could remember how her hair bounced as she laughed at Derek who was spooked out by Reid's Halloween mask. Then she turned around and smiled at him and he was smitten.

Only she never knew, because he had never told her. He never got a chance to tell her how it sent shivers down his spine when she brushed her hair behind her ears. He could almost feel her silky hair wrap around his little finger. "Oh Emily", he cried out softly. "I should have told you that I loved you." Now he would never to be able to tell her. It was too late for him.

Leaning into his hands, Rossi sobbed, allowing himself permission to finally show his true emotions. The great David Rossi had finally found his Achilles' heel as he grieved for his colleague who was more than just a friend and for himself who had lost so much.

He had been so distraught that he didn't hear the door open. In fact it wasn't until he felt arms surround him that he had any idea that someone was in the room. Startled, he tried to pull away but JJ's arms tightened around him, her soft voice quietly whispering, "Shhh. It'll be alright."

As he started to calm down, Dave rested his head on JJ's shoulder. "JJ, how will it ever be alright again? She's gone and I never got a chance to say goodbye."

Smiling sadly, JJ pushed Dave back on the chair. She sat on his desk, and reached for his face.

"Tell her."

Puzzled he looked at JJ, "What do you mean?"

"Write a letter to her and tell her what you could never tell her when she was here."

"Whhhat?"

"Dave, it's oblivious that you have unresolved feelings for Emily. You need to get these feelings out in the open and off your chest. If you don't do it now, it will always eat you up. Put it in writing and I will make sure that your letter will be placed with her." JJ watched as he shook his head.

"No, JJ, I can't." His voice cracked with sorrow.

JJ grasped his chin and pulled his face up. "Why not? Are you afraid to finally say what has been in your heart?"

"Yes!" he cried, as the tears began to gather in his eyes. "JJ, how can I tell her how I feel? What good what it do at this point?"

"Dave, listen to me. Put your feelings down in writing. Tell her how she made you feel. How you wished she had come to us...to you...while she was going through this. Tell her would you would do or say if she were standing in front of you right now. I know it's hard but trust me, when you write about it, you'll feel better. Writing truly is therapeutic and can give you some solace during this time."

Taking some paper from the printer, she cleared his desk and placed the stack and a pen in front of him. "Go on, Dave you need to do this. I'll give you some time and I'll be back shortly." With that JJ, slipped out the office door, closing it slowly behind her.

Dave stared at the paper at for quite a while before he finally picked up the pen and began to write a letter to the woman he loved.


	3. I don't want to be alone

**Sorry for the delay. I was away at a conference for the weekend and I've been trying to catch up all week. Final chapter. Hope you like it. **

When she returned a half an hour later, Dave was standing near the window staring at something in the distance. JJ closed the door behind her and sat in the guest chair staring at David's back. She could see that he was stroking his beard with his right hand, while he leaned against the glass with the other.

"Do you know that I actually told her how I felt?"

Surprised, JJ tilted her head. "When?"

"She and I went for a walk during that exorcism case we had. She confided in me about something from her past."

"You mean the abortion."

Turning towards her, Dave nodded, "Yes. I guess she told you too?"

JJ shook her head in response, "I overhead the two of you speak about it one day. I just never let her know that I knew. I figured that she'd tell me when she was ready. I just never thought that she'd take her secrets with her."

"Ah, yes...she certainly knew how to keep a secret."

"So what happened?"

"Em..Prentiss told me about Matthew and what happened to her in Italy. When she told me, she felt so guilty and unworthy. She was vulnerable and felt that no man could ever love her. That's when I told her that I loved her. Of course, I never told her that it was a love that a man had for a woman. I told her that I would be there for her no matter what she had done and that if I ever had a daughter, I would want her to be just like Emily. I would have supported her decision and been her rock."

"She knew how much you cared."

"Not really, but she did say that she loved me too. Of course she teasingly called me Dad. I knew right then and there that I could never tell her my true feelings. I knew she'd never return them and so I just supported her the best way I could by being her friend. I wish that I had the courage back then to tell her that I loved her with my whole heart. And now it's too late!"

JJ's heart was breaking for him. She wished she could take his pain away by telling him the truth, but right now she didn't have that power. Walking over to the window, she took Dave's hand in hers, squeezing gently. "I don't know what this world has in store for any of us, but what I do know is that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason that this had to happen to you...to us...albeit not one that could ever make sense for any of us. I just have to believe that soon we will know why this happened and why we had to go through so much pain."

"Jennifer, I know that you are right. My head understands all your words. It knows that sometime in the distant future, we'll come to understand why this occurred. Believe me, I'm still sober enough to understand that, but right now it's my heart that is leading this pity party. A heart that is broken in a million pieces and will never accept that there is **any** reason that what happened was a good thing. No matter what the future outcome will be. NEVER!"

Unsure of what to say, JJ wrapped her arms around the man and just held him. It was so hard for her to see him this way. David Rossi was perhaps the only one of the team that was always strong no matter what anyone threw at him. He always supported the others on the team and he always knew what to say to them. For once JJ knew what **he** needed to hear, but she couldn't tell him that Emily was safe and well.

She looked to the desk where the letter sat that he wrote. She knew that was the one thing that JJ could do that for the man. She could take the words that he had locked up in his heart and give them to the woman he loved. Although it wouldn't change anything, at least Emily would know that he loved her unconditionally.

They stood in each other's arms for awhile until she told him that he needed to go home. He sat in the chair while JJ put everything away, including the bottle of whiskey in the back of the drawer. Shortly after JJ packed up the office, she led the broken man towards the elevators and to the parking lot. He didn't argue when she put him in the passenger side of her car. She quickly called Henry's nanny to stay with him so that she could stay with Dave until she was sure he would be okay.

They arrived at the cottage before it got dark. They entered the cottage and JJ made Dave eat some soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Dave smiled sadly when JJ teased that he was lucky because that meal was her specialty, his eyes slowly closing against their will.

"Come on, Dave let's get you to bed." JJ persuaded when she realized that he was losing the battle. Taking his hand she dragged him up the stairs to his room. She wasn't surprised that the room fit Dave's personality. The furniture was heavy and dark and took centre stage in the room. The linen on the bed was crisp and plush in a crimson red. JJ pulled back the comforter after Dave removed his jacket and tie, and guided him to lie down on the pillow. Pulling the comforter up to his chin, she leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "Sweet dreams my friend."

Reaching out to grab her hand, Dave pleaded, "Stay with me."

"Oh Dave," JJ whispered. "You don't want to sully Emily's memory with this."

Shaking his head, he explained that she misunderstood. "JJ, just hold my hand and be my friend. That's all I want. Please... I don't want to be alone."

She could feel his words shoot straight into the pit of her stomach. Nodding, she walked around to the other side of the bed and pulled the drapes shut. Then she lifted the corner of the comforter and got in under the covers. Opening up her arms, Dave settled in, resting his head on her chest as she drew circles on his back with her fingers.

Soon after, Dave was snoring and JJ's mind began to wonder about a time and a place in the not too distant future when Emily Prentiss would be able to return to her life. She hoped that it was sooner than later, because she didn't know how long she could keep this secret from the team, let alone Dave. She didn't want Emily's "death" to destroy him and she knew that she would have to keep him out of the dark shadows of his grief to make sure that didn't happen.

Right now she would hold her friend and let him grieve. And tomorrow, they would talk about taking one day at a time. He would see her off at the door so she could go home to her son and back to a life that was far away from the evils of the job at the BAU.

Then on Monday morning, JJ would go back to her office where she would, as part of her job in the Defence department, take a plane to Europe to meet with the woman who currently has no name, no money and no means with which to hide from the evil on the hunt for her. JJ just hoped that she would have enough to live under the radar until Ian Doyle was found and "taken care of". Only then could Emily come out of hiding and come back to her family and friends. And maybe into the arms of the man whose world revolved around a particular dark haired profiler.

Closing her eyes tightly JJ prayed, "Please God, we need to find Ian Doyle before he finds our Emily. Then, perhaps, Emily will be able to bring the sunshine back in all our lives. Please take care of Emily, we need her back."

A smile escaped her lips as she thought of a time in the future when the whole BAU team would be united again. Until then, JJ promised Emily she would take care of all of them. Snuggling closer to Dave, she knew that he would need extra special care until Emily was back to do it herself.

Finally, fatigue washed over her and JJ began to drift off to sleep, a prayer on her lips that her friend would make it out of the dark shadows and back to the friends who loved her; soon, before it was too late.


End file.
